Hello my sweet girlies! I have to say that recently I have been faced with one of my biggest parenting challenges at date. At this point you are 8 and 7, 3rd and 2nd grade and the girl drama has begun. Melia, you have been dealing with a nasty girl for a year and half now. One of my favorite Melia quotes has come out of this situation, on the way home from school one day, we were sorting through the day with “Nelly” (we will call her Nelly because she was the pill on Little House on the Prairie”, a popular show when I was your age). Anywho, I mentioned that “I had your back.” and you responded “Does that mean that daddy has my front?” Ah... so precious! Ryanne and Sabrina your problems have been more here and there, being left out or just girls being... bratty. The other day, we were doing our devotions, it was about honoring other people, putting their needs above our own etc. At the end of the study it posed a question “ name someone that you are struggling with and what’s one thing you could do to show them that you care about them”; around the table we went. I had a pretty good idea what Melia and Sabrina would say, you two are more verbal about things, but it was Ryanne’s answer that threw me.
“Ryanne, who do you struggle with?”
“Pretty much everybody.”
What, Ryanne? The girl who is completely unfazed by the people around her? Content to play with you or with out you, as even tempered as they come... you are so much like your dad in the that respect. We chatted for a while and you gave me the following example:
“I was in the bathroom and I asked Nelly (Nelly will represent all the nasties) to hold the door closed for me because the lock doesn’t work, and she said “No way!” all mean like.”
“How did you respond?” I asked.
“I was just snotty back and said “Fine, whatever.” I’m done. I just don’t care anymore.”
Broke my little heart. Now don’t get me wrong, you 3 girls don’t walk around with shiny halos and butterflies chasing after you all the time, but for the most part you are sweet girls, who try...
Can I just say, that my first reaction is not always very “christian”. My little mama feathers get all fired up and I have a whole lot of suggestions that I want to give you. Cutting come backs, or maybe just a forum to talk nasty about them. But deep down, sometimes very deep in these situations I know that is not right and that Jesus would want us to love anyway.
So, here I am, a mom in the thick of it, wanting to encourage you to push past your deep desire to take those people in your kids life that make their life miserable and drag them behind your car! Take a deep breath, take a moment to pray, even walk away for a minute if you need to. Empty yourself of all of you and let yourself be filled up with the Holy Spirit and then go back and tell your babies to love anyway. It isn’t easy, but it’s right.
That night, I vented to your dad, told him how I wanted to pummel those mean girls and then I prayed and prayed and prayed some more, I asked for wisdom and the mind of Christ. God is always so faithful!! In the morning, I was refreshed and ready to help you girls face your day. For a couple of years, we would take a few minutes and put on our armor each morning before you went off to school.
The Belt of Truth
The Breastplate of Righteousness
The gospel of Peace
The Helmet of Salvation
The Shield of Faith
and The Sword of the Spirit
This particular morning we discussed the clothes we would wear under that Armor.
A Shirt of Compassion
Panties of Kindness
Pants of Humility
Socks of Gentleness
and a Jacket of Patience
based on the verses Colossians 3:12-14 “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Other verses that we discussed to set us off in the right direction were:
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. And Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer, turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
As a mom, you can’t help but wonder if what you say is actually making a difference or not, but that afternoon when you came home I knew that the Lord was as faithful to you as he was to me. Ryanne recalled a playground scenario where she asked if she could play with Nelly and the other girls, she was met with an abrupt “No!” Her response????
“Nelly, I just want you to know that I love you and care about you and I hope that tomorrow maybe you will let me play.”
WOOHOOO!! Way to go RYANNE!!! I couldn’t be more proud of you, you chose to “love anyway”!!
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