Hi there girlies,
We currently live in the age of Blogs! Just like this one, people from all walks of live sharing their thoughts and beliefs with whomever takes the time to stop by and read. Recently, a friend of my shared an article she recently read on a blog. The title of the blog was "Christians, stop saying everything happens for a reason. After reading the article, I knew that I didn't share this woman's belief or agree with her thoughts but I went on with my day. HOWEVER, I could not let go of it. I kept thinking about my grieving friend, who no doubt had been hurt by the untimely and careless use of the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" but if the seed that some things happen outside of God's permission or without reason was to take root and grow, I knew that would give way to an overwhelming tree of anxiety and depression, not knowing what things to trust God with and wonder what terrible things might happen outside of His concern or control. So... I decided to send her an email with my thoughts on the subject, in hopes that she would find the true hope we have as Christians in Jesus. I wanted to share it here, as a resourse when you are wrestling with a tragic situation in your own life and need to know where God is in it. The original article by Christine Suhan is in black, my thoughts are in blue.
Hi Jenn,
I hope that you would allow me to speak to this article that you posted this morning. I have copied and pasted the original article here and added some notes of my own. I hope that you don’t mind me sharing...
Have you ever found yourself, in the midst of unimaginable grief, pain, heartache or despair, wondering how you are going to make it through another day? Wondering where your next breath is going to come from? Your world has crumbled beneath you and you are left feeling shattered, empty and hopeless.
And then a well meaning friend or family member comes along and drops the infamous “Everything happens for a reason” bomb. You smile kindly and nod—that’s all you can do to keep yourself from punching them in the face.
You can’t possibly imagine a reason for what just happened.
The more you stew about a possible reason for your pain, the angrier you become. You try desperately to make sense of a situation that won’t ever make sense. You reach for answers but none come.
I certainly agree that telling someone who is grieving that “all things happen for a reason” is borderline cruel. The Bible clearly tell us to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). But at the same time I do not believe this statement is untrue.
I spent years searching for answers, trying to find reasons that would bring an end to my pain. I thought that if I could find the cause, I could treat the condition. But what I found through years of searching, experiencing and living is that often there is no reason for why tragedy has occurred.
We often want to understand why some things happen, but God’s Word tell us that His ways are not our ways (Is 55:8&9) and He instructs us to trust him, with all our hearts and to lean not on our own understanding (Prov 3:5-6).
Sometimes bad things happen for no reason other than we are human beings having a human experience. Pain, heartache, grief, loss, disease and death are inevitable parts of the human experience.
I agree that all of these terrible things stem from the root of sin and the choice for knowledge over life in the garden. In God’s original design, the one where we choose to believe Him over the serpent, none of this was part of the plan. It was never part of His perfect will for our lives. But with the choice, we ushered in a whole new set of circumstances and consequences of that choice. We made our choice and now we would have to live with it. BUT!!! In stepped mercy and grace with a way to ultimately escape the spinning planet of death and pain. But I also very much believe that tragic things only happen when they can serve a very real and eternal purpose.
We hear people say “Life dealt me a crappy hand” as if pain and hardships are not the norm. We assume that life is supposed to be easy and when things don’t go our way, we feel like we have been wronged. Human beings seem to have an innate sense of entitlement. We think that we are owed a pain-free existence.
But the truth is that human beings are not exempt from the human experience. And struggle is an innate part of the human experience. None of us are exceptions to this rule. We all struggle. We all suffer. We all experience pain, heartache and loss. And sometimes, there’s just no reason other than we are human and pain is a part of the process.
I am struggling a bit with the repeated use of “human experience”, I would rather we just call a spade a spade. We screwed up. We traded fellowship and true intimacy with God for well... this.
I recently had a conversation with a friend who was struggling to find peace with “God’s plan” for her life including the recent death of a loved one.
“How could this possibly be God’s will?” she asked.
Here’s what I’ve come to know about God’s will:
God’s will is not the path we walk, but rather how we walk the path.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 reveals God’s will for us: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Ugh! Everything? Didn’t He mean to say just the good things??? How can we possibly give thanks to God for the tragic things? If there is no purpose in them, then we couldn’t. There would be nothing to be thankful for, but God said to give thanks in everything, so... there must be something to give thanks for. Because ALL things work together for good for THOSE WHO LOVE God. There is a purpose, there is a reason and somewhere in all the tragedy and grief,it’s a good one. One we can hope in.
God’s plan is never for someone to have cancer. God’s will is not for an innocent child to be brutally murdered. God’s will is not for a teenage girl to be raped. God’s will is not chronic pain, illness, disability or death.
God’s will is not an event that happens to us, it’s how we respond to what happens.
God’s will for us is to walk with Him through the cancer. Through the abuse. Through the death. Through the illness. God’s will is for us to draw close to him in the midst of pain. God’s will is for us to use our painful life events to carry his message of hope, grace, forgiveness and mercy.
God’s plan was never for pain to be part of the human experience. His plan was for us to live in peace and harmony with Him. The human experience became painful when sin entered the world. Our own free will weaved threads of tragedy, loss, heartache and pain into the human experience.
God is not responsible for our pain. Not in the sense that He in any way caused it. But I do believe that God is sovereign over all things and He allows it. We are not responsible for our pain. Some pain we are very much responsible for, choices that we make can lead to great heart wrenching pain. What happened in the Garden of Eden is responsible for the human condition. Death was ushered in as a result of Adam and Eve’s choice which represented the same choice that each of us would have made. So I think we too bear responsibility for what we invited into our existence. And the human condition is hard wired for pain and suffering. God is not causing us to hurt. He is hurting with us. What we do with our hurt is what matters. How we handle tragedy is what brings purpose into our pain. Oh, I hope not. I certainly do not have the strength to muster up the “right” response to my tragedy in order to bring purpose to it. I think I will pass this credit onto God. I believe that it is through the power of His Holy Spirit at work in us, that brings one purpose to the pain and suffering we experience. Genesis 50:20 says “but as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. God will bring purpose from our pain, we needn't weigh ourselves down with trying to figure out how to do that.
There’s hardly ever a justifiable reason for the bad things that happen in life. Tragic loss is not laced with inherent specs of good. I used to get so mad when people would say, “You can find good in every situation.” That’s just not true. There was nothing good about being raped. There is no good in murder or abuse. We have to create the good. We have to choose to respond in a way that brings good into an impossible situation. We have to choose to give purpose and meaning to our suffering.
Not everything happens for a reason. But in everything that happens, there can be a reason to bring hope and healing to others. God can use our pain for a greater good if we choose to let Him in.
Bible scholar G. Campbell Morgan said “In the divine dealing with us, there is no mistake, no lapse. Nothing has been permitted which has not been made to serve the highest purpose.” That causes me to sigh with great relief.
I read this article this morning and it has followed me everywhere I went today, I could not shake it. I even wondered “Geez, Cija, what’s the big deal?” It’s comforting, I suppose, to think “sometimes bad things just happen and God had nothing to do with them.” But if that seed is allowed to take root and grow it becomes a giant tree of anxiety and despair thinking that things, great big giant, devastating things could happen without God being a part of it in some way. Ultimately, that is terrifying. The Apostle Paul said we are hard pressed on every side but not crushed. Why? because God is there, smack dab in the middle of this messed up, sin-filled world, taking every terrible thing that happens and using it for a very specific God filled purpose. He NEVER ever wastes our tears. He never allows anything to happen to us that He can’t use for His glory and for eternal purposes.
We will suffer, Jesus himself said, “In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” We have hope... this is not the end of the story, He stepped into the mess and laid out a beautiful plan of redemption and restoration. Lamentations 3:37 says “Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it?”
Jenn, hear my heart. My heart aches with your’s every time I look at my twins and wonder how I could bare life without one of them. Tragic, unspeakable things have happened in your life. I know that your heart still aches over the loss of your boy and for anyone to carelessly throw “everything happens for a reason” out as some sort of demand for you to move on is absolutely wrong. As I said before, we are to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. But I truly believe that the foundation to rest on is in knowing that his death was not in vain, all his days ordained for him before one of them came to be (Ps 139:16). God knew in His omniscient power exactly when his temporary life in this broken world would end, that He chose you to be his mom and that He is holding him in heaven until the two of you can be reunited again. This was not a mistake or a meaningless event, while it was never part of God’s pre-garden plan, there is comfort in knowing that all things come from God, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. He is bigger and more powerful than death... he truly will work ALL things together for good for THOSE WHO BELIEVE. You will spend eternity with your son because of GOD’S AMAZING GRACE. You can KNOW that God will take what Satan meant for evil and HE WILL USE IT FOR GOOD, you may never know what that good is on this side of heaven but you can rest in the assurance that your pain and your tears and your heartache will not be wasted.
Sweet girl...You do not have to muster up the right attitude in the midst of your tragedy. Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted, to trade your ashes for beauty, to give you the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. God’s comfort and his good in your tragedy are not dependent on how well you handle it... He is faithful to do all that he promised he would do, you put your focus on Him, trust in Him and lean not on your own understanding and He will do the rest, including giving you the strength to put one foot in front of the other.
No comments:
Post a Comment