Hello again my sweet girlies! Today was a big day, the 1st day of school. Melia you started 1st grade today and you looked so hip in your "hannah montanaish" outfit! Sabrina you chose a cute little baby doll top with colorful ice cream cones all over it and a pair of glitter jeans and Ryanne you dressed up and in a black dress with white polka dots and bright pink bows for your 1st day of kindergarten. I was so proud of all of you!!
Well, today the clouds have scattered and things are feeling more back to "normal", but as a follow up to last night I wanted to share something with you that happened to me a few days prior to my 40th birthday...
I borrowed the movie "Pride and Prejudice" from my niece; it was painfully hard to tune my ears to understand the heavy accent and flowery speech, but I pursued and eventually I was able to lose myself in the movie. It is a beautiful love story. Elizabeth meets Mr. Darcy early on, and immediately forms opinions about who he is and what he is like based on his smooth and somewhat cool exterior. These opinions are only reinforced when she hears about two "things" he has done in the past, proving to her that he is cold and selfish and someone with whom she would never be friends. But life somehow continues to make their paths cross. At one point, he follows her through the rain and professes his deep love and affection for her. She in turn is mean and hurtful, lashing out at him with all of her preconceived ideas of who he is and what he has done. He is deeply hurt by what she says, but tries to defend himself and explain what "really happened", but in the end he turns and leaves as it is clear she has no intention of changing her mind. Much time passes and she is on a trip with her Aunt and Uncle; they go to visit his home, a huge mansion, she is nervous and pleads not to go, but after learning that he is in London agrees. While touring the house she runs across a bust of Mr. Darcy, you can see the deep regret in her face, she is ashamed of what she has thought about this man and the way she has treated him, she fears she may have falsely judged his character and his motives. She becomes separated from her Aunt and Uncle only to discover that Mr. Darcy has returned, she quickly turns and runs embarrassed for him to see her after how she has judged him. He runs after her, calling her name, and while she stops their exchange is brief. The following night he invites her Aunt and Uncle to dinner, where he learns of a tragedy that has befallen Elizabeth's little sister, of course Elizabeth and her family must leave at once. Sometime later, the situation with her sister is somehow and in a somewhat miraculous way is taken care of, and another sister is reunited with a lost love; Elizabeth finds out that both of these situations were resolved because of Mr. Darcy's influence. She is broken hearted, as she fully realizes how wrong she was about him and as a result of her doing she has pushed away her greatest love. She is tormented and can not sleep, so she goes out for a walk in the early morning to be alone with her sadness, then she sees him... Mr. Darcy, walking towards her with great determination, their exchange goes something like this...
Elizabeth - I couldn't sleep.
Mr. Darcy - I couldn't either. I am sorry to bother you.
Elizabeth - After what you have done, how can I take exception?
Mr. Darcy - Surely you know that I did it all for you. I tell you if your feelings for me have not changed from last April, say only one word and you will never hear from me again, but my feelings for you have not wavered."
She of course, looks at him and says nothing. She takes his hand and says, "I'm cold." He pulls her close and let his forehead fall to rest on hers.
It was simply the most romantic movie I have ever seen. Your dad immediately said "Man... that was a chick flick." I wanted to cry, he doesn't get it, that story made my heart melt and sore all at the same time. Mr. Darcy continued to pursue Elizabeth with great strength and passion despite her mistakes and unkind judgments about his character. As I climbed the stairs to bed, I thought “why did God make women this way”, so desperate for romance and so desperate to be pursued, when men are clearly clueless to how important this is to women. The Holy Spirit prompted me to find my copy of the book "Captivating", even though I was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. Laying in bed, I scanned the chapter titles in the table of contents, I turned to the chapter entitled, "Romanced" and here is what I read "Think of the most romantic scenes you can remember, scenes that made you sigh (Dr Darcy walking towards Elizabeth in the early morning despite what she had done to him). Now, put yourself in the scene as the Beauty, and Jesus as the Lover. What does your heart do with that?" At first, I opened my eyes and pulled away from the scene, but the Holy Spirit nudged me to go back and try again. Soon I was standing in that field with Jesus' forehead resting on mind, tears streaming down my face. After all that I have done to him, all the wrong judgments I have made about him and his character, He continued to pursue me to seek me out in the early morning, to boldly walk towards me, in no way trying to conceal his desperate wanting to be with me. And then I realized, this is why God made women this way, because He wants "this relationship" with us, the men in our lives will never be able to fill this wanting in our heart's. He is the only one that can fill the deep and most tender portion of our heart. That night I went to sleep with the man who gave his life to save mine, holding me holding me close. I sang several choruses of "I love you, Lord", and then drifted off to sleep with my Prince of Peace.
I borrowed the movie "Pride and Prejudice" from my niece; it was painfully hard to tune my ears to understand the heavy accent and flowery speech, but I pursued and eventually I was able to lose myself in the movie. It is a beautiful love story. Elizabeth meets Mr. Darcy early on, and immediately forms opinions about who he is and what he is like based on his smooth and somewhat cool exterior. These opinions are only reinforced when she hears about two "things" he has done in the past, proving to her that he is cold and selfish and someone with whom she would never be friends. But life somehow continues to make their paths cross. At one point, he follows her through the rain and professes his deep love and affection for her. She in turn is mean and hurtful, lashing out at him with all of her preconceived ideas of who he is and what he has done. He is deeply hurt by what she says, but tries to defend himself and explain what "really happened", but in the end he turns and leaves as it is clear she has no intention of changing her mind. Much time passes and she is on a trip with her Aunt and Uncle; they go to visit his home, a huge mansion, she is nervous and pleads not to go, but after learning that he is in London agrees. While touring the house she runs across a bust of Mr. Darcy, you can see the deep regret in her face, she is ashamed of what she has thought about this man and the way she has treated him, she fears she may have falsely judged his character and his motives. She becomes separated from her Aunt and Uncle only to discover that Mr. Darcy has returned, she quickly turns and runs embarrassed for him to see her after how she has judged him. He runs after her, calling her name, and while she stops their exchange is brief. The following night he invites her Aunt and Uncle to dinner, where he learns of a tragedy that has befallen Elizabeth's little sister, of course Elizabeth and her family must leave at once. Sometime later, the situation with her sister is somehow and in a somewhat miraculous way is taken care of, and another sister is reunited with a lost love; Elizabeth finds out that both of these situations were resolved because of Mr. Darcy's influence. She is broken hearted, as she fully realizes how wrong she was about him and as a result of her doing she has pushed away her greatest love. She is tormented and can not sleep, so she goes out for a walk in the early morning to be alone with her sadness, then she sees him... Mr. Darcy, walking towards her with great determination, their exchange goes something like this...
Elizabeth - I couldn't sleep.
Mr. Darcy - I couldn't either. I am sorry to bother you.
Elizabeth - After what you have done, how can I take exception?
Mr. Darcy - Surely you know that I did it all for you. I tell you if your feelings for me have not changed from last April, say only one word and you will never hear from me again, but my feelings for you have not wavered."
She of course, looks at him and says nothing. She takes his hand and says, "I'm cold." He pulls her close and let his forehead fall to rest on hers.
It was simply the most romantic movie I have ever seen. Your dad immediately said "Man... that was a chick flick." I wanted to cry, he doesn't get it, that story made my heart melt and sore all at the same time. Mr. Darcy continued to pursue Elizabeth with great strength and passion despite her mistakes and unkind judgments about his character. As I climbed the stairs to bed, I thought “why did God make women this way”, so desperate for romance and so desperate to be pursued, when men are clearly clueless to how important this is to women. The Holy Spirit prompted me to find my copy of the book "Captivating", even though I was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. Laying in bed, I scanned the chapter titles in the table of contents, I turned to the chapter entitled, "Romanced" and here is what I read "Think of the most romantic scenes you can remember, scenes that made you sigh (Dr Darcy walking towards Elizabeth in the early morning despite what she had done to him). Now, put yourself in the scene as the Beauty, and Jesus as the Lover. What does your heart do with that?" At first, I opened my eyes and pulled away from the scene, but the Holy Spirit nudged me to go back and try again. Soon I was standing in that field with Jesus' forehead resting on mind, tears streaming down my face. After all that I have done to him, all the wrong judgments I have made about him and his character, He continued to pursue me to seek me out in the early morning, to boldly walk towards me, in no way trying to conceal his desperate wanting to be with me. And then I realized, this is why God made women this way, because He wants "this relationship" with us, the men in our lives will never be able to fill this wanting in our heart's. He is the only one that can fill the deep and most tender portion of our heart. That night I went to sleep with the man who gave his life to save mine, holding me holding me close. I sang several choruses of "I love you, Lord", and then drifted off to sleep with my Prince of Peace.
Love you, girls... Mommy
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